Poor self-esteem is something we hear a lot of in today’s society. We are told all we need to do to fix it is to think positively. But what exactly does that mean? How does thinking positively improve self-esteem? In this article, I’ll break down what I think can boost your self-esteem so you can feel good about yourself at the core.
Self-Worth
Remember that you are worthy no matter what you do. Your actions do not define your worth. If you forget something or make a mistake it does not define who you are.
We can focus on these mistakes and overthink what we should have done differently. Your worth as a person is not tied to something you did or didn’t do. You are worthy just as you are!
This can be hard for those who experienced childhood trauma or childhood attachment trauma because you may have learned that your worth is attached to what you do.
It is possible for your brain to relearn that you are worthy just as you are.
Values
Values are a key piece of our identity. They are what's important to us and how we choose to live our life. Understanding what your values are and how you are living a life that is respectful of these values can help boost self-esteem.
For example, say you highly value honesty but are working in a profession that relies on lying. This can leave a huge feeling of disconnect because you’re not living true to yourself. When you live true to your values you feel good!
Take a look at this values quiz to start exploring your values.
Self-Compassion
Being self-compassionate is treating yourself as an equal who just like other humans isn’t perfect and is flawed. It’s showing yourself compassion in moments you make mistakes, something doesn’t turn out the way you thought it would, or you didn’t say or do the “right” thing.
For example, if you are overthinking what you emailed your boss and worrying that you used a word that may be too abrasive. Remind yourself that communication doesn’t need to be perfect and in fact, other people have made mistakes. You can remind yourself that you do not need to be perfect and that your worth doesn’t rely on whether your boss likes you.
The next time you get frustrated with yourself for making a mistake ask yourself what would you tell a friend in this situation.
Prioritizing Yourself
It's easy to write off our own needs as not important. You are important! Your needs are just as important as others! What would you tell a friend if they are treating themselves as you're treating yourself?
If you were to prioritize yourself as you would prioritize someone you care about, imagine what would it look like?
You are also always welcome to contact me to see if I might be able to support you as you journey forward.
DISCLAIMER The content in this blog and all future blog posts is for educational purposes only and is not a replacement or substitute for mental health or medical care.